Grief, Gratitude, and Family: My Cousin’s Funeral Experience

I also want to provide a personal update, as I’ve been MIA since posting in April. I posted the interview video on May 7, and I just uploaded the blog today about it today. I grieved for my beloved cousin, Daniel, during that time. The Visitation was on May 5. The Funeral was on May 6. Based on my previous blog, he was killed earlier last month prior to the interview.

I went to the Visitation on May 5, and it was a closed casket. The reverend discussed the 5 Mysteries, because he was raised as a Roman Catholic. Then a screen came down. What followed were photographs of him from infant to father. My eyes welled up after seeing some of my close relatives who passed away, including Daniel’s mother, my aunt Elvira. Seeing the picture of mother and son dancing at her 25th wedding anniversary personally broke me. They’re now together in Heaven. The last video shown on the screen was of him recording himself on the phone. He was holding his baby girl in his arms. He talked sweet endearments to her, and it faded to black. I will never hear his live voice again, and I’ve been tearing up as I write this. A few people spoke first about their ‘tio’, cousin, son, brother, and friend. Daniel’s beautiful nieces and I went up and had our say to talk about him. Everyone there couldn’t grasp his sudden loss.

The next day was the funeral at the Holy Angels church in Arcadia. I had no idea he attended there every Sunday at 7:30 am. As the reverend said, “this tall guy with an infinite smile would be sitting right there.” Most of his immediate family sat on the right hand of the church, close to where the choir sang. How profoundly apt that music and choral voices became a part of his life. The Los Angeles Master Chorale were there to sing beautiful hymns. The first song was “Pie Jesu” and a few songs later, “The Prayer”. (This song was made famous by Celine Dion and my favorite singer, Josh Groban.) His brother and longtime girlfriend (and mother to their baby girl) had their say that day at the podium. When we all presided outside to the hearse, we were presented with another surprising miracle. My cousin Ashley, who I call ‘Angel’, is expecting her first child. Her sister is getting married later this autumn. Considering it was a gloomy day, it was a day of grief, gratitude and joy. Afterwards, we all went to the Huntington Library Museum and Gardens for lunch. (They’re usually closed on Tuesdays.) We had lunch in the Rose Hills Garden Court. The large dome overhead was flanked with beautiful florals, and I met some of my late cousin’s acquaintances. I’m grateful to them for sharing their stories with me. I’m looking forward to the day I can go to Massachusetts and make a personal meet up.